


Trust

by ylc



Series: Of building tensions and their many consequences [7]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Break Up, Forbidden Love, Light Angst, Other, Pining, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ylc/pseuds/ylc
Summary: Trust is a fickle thing. Difficult to gain and so very easy to lose.And almost impossible to win back.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Of building tensions and their many consequences [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1507208
Comments: 26
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And here’s a new installment! Considering the note the last one ended in, I’m not sure if that’s what you expected, but hopefully it works all the same ;)  
> Enjoy!

Something has clearly gone wrong.

As a demon, Beelzebub approves of things going wrong  _ in theory.  _ If everything worked out as it’s supposed to, what a boring life it’d be. After all, isn’t that part of why they Rebelled in the first place? If you just do as you’re supposed to, so things will work out as they’re supposed to, where’s the fun in that?

But this-- this is the kind of wrong  _ wrong. _

They look at the dozing Archangel at their side, his soft satisfied smile and something inside them twist painfully. Generally speaking, nor angels nor demons need to sleep, but they drift off the sleep after sex often enough to understand the appeal. On any other night, they might tease their lover about it when he woke up, telling him something about Sloth being a Deadly Sin. Tonight though--

Tonight they’re not in the mood for teasing, or in any particularly pleasant mood, actually. Tonight has been a night filled with revelations that have left their head spinning, not entirely sure where they are standing any more.

When they told Gabriel about Michael words, they had been expecting (although dreading) a sharp denial. Maybe a mirthless chuckle and a comment on Michael being delusional. It would have hurt, they imagine, even if they themselves hadn’t quite named what they felt for the Archangel yet. But to hear Gabriel acknowledge that he’s in love…

Well. That’s more than a bit unexpected.

But the really  _ terrifying  _ bit was the way their heart had swelled at the declaration. Up until that moment, they hadn’t imagined it was even a possibility and so they hadn’t realized how badly they actually wanted for the feeling to be mutual. 

It’s all kinds of wrong, obviously.

They’re a demon, a demon Prince at that. They’re not meant to have such feelings and they’ve built their entire reputation on not having any sort of feelings whatsoever, for better or for worse. Of course they take a certain pride on a job well done, but other than that--

Beelzebub sighs, leaving the bed with a huff. Big cities like London are never fully quiet, but in the eery hours of the morning it’s as silent as it can be. They gaze outside the window distantly, not really seeing, but wishing to distract themselves from their circling thoughts.

Blasphemous as the thought might be, they’re in love with a bloody Archangel.

They look in the direction of the bed, where Gabriel continues to sleep, completely oblivious to the riot Beelzebub’s thoughts have become. He had seemed so stupidly happy earlier tonight, when Beelzebub had more or less said they shared his feelings. They had had celebratory sex (there are limits and Beelzebub refuses to think of what they do as  _ making love _ ) and he had promptly fallen asleep, with a big smile on his face.

The sex had been quite good, truth be told. Better than ever before. Maybe there is a difference between sex for the sake of it and sex  _ with feelings _ .

Regardless, they can not let their stupid hormones (or what passes as such in their infernal body) rule their actions. Isn’t that what started this whole mess in the first place? If they had left it as a one-night thing, something to think of fondly but never to be repeated--

But alas, there’s no changing the past. Every step they’ve taken down this mad road has been their choice and they knew full well where it lead: happily ever afters rarely happen for humans and they certainly don’t exist for demons. 

Gabriel thinks there’s a way around this. They know there isn’t. 

They also know what they must do.

There’s very little point on postponing the inevitable, Beelzebub musses darkly, redressing themselves with just a thought. They always knew their little  _ affair  _ would have to come to an end and that said ending could be nothing but a tragedy, although they imagined it’d involve more blood being spilled.

They do feel gutted, so they suppose it must count for something.

They disappear without allowing themselves to look back, knowing full well they might not do it otherwise. They’re a demon, after all, greedy by nature, covetous and unwilling to let go of whatever good things they can get, no matter the price.

But in this case, the price is just too high.

* * *

The sun is shining and there’s not a single cloud in sight. People walk around the park, either on their own or in pairs or groups, all looking happy and content. There’s laughter and chatter and children and dogs playing.

Beelzebub feels vaguely repulsed.

The park is nothing like St. James, with its many spies and its mildly glum air. Around here there’s nothing but good cheer and there’s not even a duck pond where they can entertain themselves throwing pieces of bread to the animals and watch them fight for them.

The general good mood is result of the Antichrist’s will, in all likelihood. His powers might diminish with time, but they’ll never truly disappear and so he’ll remain able to reshape the world around him in small, almost meaningless ways.

What a waste of potential, the demon Prince thinks.

But of course, if the Apocalypse had come to pass, they wouldn’t be in this mess and, regardless of everything, they can not say they’d prefer it that way.

They spot the traitors long before they spot them, both too busy staring at each other adoringly. It’s disgusting, truly and yet it makes something inside them ache acutely.

Maybe there is such thing as happy endings for angels and demons, under special circumstances, that is. They can’t help to feel a little envious of the pair’s obvious affection for one another, an affection they can flaunt for the world to see without any fear of retribution. It doesn’t feel fair, but then, what do they know about fairness?

Finally, Crowley spots them, coming to an abrupt stop. The angel looks at his companion, looking mildly annoyed by the interruption, but then he spots Beelzebub too and he pales a little bit. Beelzebub smirks, amused and Crowley steps forward, placing himself between the angel and the demon Prince and while Beelzebub’s smirk remains, they can feel their insides twisting with something akin to longing.

They’re not sure what this little visit was meant to accomplish, but it certainly didn’t work and so they disappear without any fanfare, feeling hollow inside. 

They end up back in their office, which is dark and gloom and devoid of anything remotely  _ cheerful.  _ They look around it, their emotions a right mess that they have no hope of sorting through. Then they proceed to tear the room to pieces, screaming as they do, but it does very little to quell the awful ache inside their bones.

That road lead to madness, they always knew.

And now they’ll have to live with the consequences.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here’s a new chapter! Enjoy?

“Do I look like I care?! Just fix it, Aziraphale!”

Gabriel’s voice booms out and the door to his office gets thrown open, revealing a rather flustered (and just a little bit terrified) Principality. Michael, who’s been standing outside said office for quite some time, waiting to go in to discuss some matters with the other Archangel, frowns a little, not exactly fazed by Gabriel’s sour mood, but a little taken aback: after all, just a weak ago Gabriel was all pleasant smiles and cheerfulness and now--

But of course, things have changed in the last week, as she’s all too aware.

She makes to pass next to the Principality, who has yet to realize he’s been dismissed, but Gabriel stops her with just one look. Now, Michael is, for all intents and purposes, Commander in Chief of Heaven’s Army and so not someone to be easily scared, but something in the other Archangel’s eyes-- “Not now, Michael,” Gabriel says with a dismissive wave of his hand and next thing she knows, she’s standing outside the office, the door firmly shut and a very confused traitor standing next to her.

“He seems to be in a bit of a mood,” Aziraphale comments, with a somewhat nervous laugh that earns him an unimpressed look from Michael.

“He’s not getting laid anymore, it seems,” someone else comments and Michael turns to glare at the demon Crowley, who just smirks at her. She had been doing her best to ignore his presence before, more than a little annoyed at Aziraphale’s sheer nerve to bring his demon along for a review performance, but now--

“Crowley,” Aziraphale chides, tone all soft and fond and Michael sneers. The demon shrugs non committedly, eyes still fixed on his phone (a regular human phone. Gone native indeed.) “He does seem a little broken hearted,” Aziraphale tells Michael, tone soft and… concerned? Is that concern she hears?

Surely not. “I have no idea what you mean,” she deadpans and Aziraphale frowns, but before he can say anything, his demon snorts inelegantly.

“Leave it, angel. This one wouldn’t know love if it smack her right in the face.”

Michael glares, quietly wondering why she hasn’t simply smote the demon, before quickly remembering what she witnessed during her last visit to Hell. Better to play it safe, she thinks, contenting herself with simply glaring some more.

When she turns to face Aziraphale once more though, her heart squeezes a little. There’s pity in his gaze and, for reasons she can’t fathom, she’s not left feeling angry at being pitied, but simply… _saddened_.

Odd, that.

She understands enough of love, she thinks. She’s an Archangel, after all. But--

She watches as the pair leave, an odd sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She looks in the direction of the closed door once more and wonders, very briefly, whether or not she did the right thing. Of course, this isn’t technically the outcome she had hoped for, but--

Michael sighs. What’s done is done and while she should have known better than to get a demon involved, there’s no changing the past. She should have known that that was likely to backfire and rather spectacularly at that.

Nothing to be done now but endure, of course. This too shall pass.

* * *

Just a day after her meeting with Lord Beelzebub, Michael had come into her office to find a letter waiting for her. Written in infernal stationery and stinking of hellfire, there was little question of who the sender was and Michael had felt just a tiny bit sick as she tore the envelope open.

 _It’s been handled_ , the note inside had said and Michael’s totally unnecessary blood had frozen in her also unnecessary veins. She had known right away that Beelzebub had done something drastic and she could already anticipate the consequences would be… _dire_ , to say at least.

So of course she had called and demanded answers. Beelzebub had been rather _blasé_ and obnoxiously cryptic about the whole business, simply stating they had done as they thought best to ensure no further problems would arise. 

_I’m a demon of my word_ , Michael. Be rest assured there’ll be no further problems.

Michael taps her fingers against her desk, considering. She wonders what the demon Lord did and whether or not she should contact them. But even if she does call Beelzebub, what will she say? That Gabriel is a mess and that she wants whatever Beelzebub did, undone?

But no, she reminds herself sharply. She doesn't want it undone, this… break up or whatever, is in fact for the best. Of course Gabriel is a little... unhappy right now and so he’s being a little unpleasant, but it’s a matter of time. He just needs some time and space and then he’ll go back to normal.

Which is what she does want.

Right?

Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thoughts anyone?  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is! The final chapter of this installment! Sorry for the long wait, but better late than never, right? :P   
> Enjoy!

Grief, it is said, has five stages. In order to move on, one must go through all of them, so one might come accept what has happened.

At first, Gabriel simply refuses to believe that Beelzebub has ended their affair all together. After all, the demon’s absence after their night together isn’t any real sign that the relationship being over, even if it’s a break of the pattern. For a couple of days, he waits for a sign, any sign, that Beelzebub’s disappearance doesn’t mean what he fears it means; that the demon will eventually call or send a note, explaining their need to leave early.

But as days pass and it comes more and more evident that such sign isn’t coming, he begins to feel angry.

After all, didn’t the demon sort of confessed that they reciprocated his feelings? Why would they tell him such lie and then leave like that? He knows of course the situation was quickly spiraling out of control, with Michael sniffing around, but if they loved one another, wasn’t it worth the risk? He told Beelzebub they’d find their way around it and he meant it: after all, isn’t love suppose to overcome every obstacle?

Bargaining comes next. If he had kept his feelings to himself, if he had lied about his love, would the demon have agreed to continue their affair? Is that what really scared them away, rather than the threat of what would happen if anyone (Michael) found out of their relationship? Because if that’s the case, he’d settle for keeping his love unspoken, if he could only have the demon back in his arms.

It is illogical to miss them so, he knows. After all, during their whole “relationship” they had contented themselves with one meeting per month and it hasn’t even been two full weeks and yet he misses them desperately because they know that, even if by some miracle Beelzebub consents to see him again, things will never be the same.

But then, he thinks, he’d settle for even that. Even if he never got to touch the demon again, even if he never felt their lips against his ever again-- if only they kept seeing one another, it’d be enough, he thinks.

Maybe not.

And that’s when depression settles in. There’s no changing the past, he knows, even with all his celestial powers there are things beyond his reach. Turning back time is impossible and there’s nothing to be done now, but accept that his “relationship” has ended and attempt to move forward.

Of course, acceptance is not that easy. He feels like there’s a hole in his chest, one he can’t fill, no matter what he tries. He throws himself into his work furiously, his subordinates shivering in fear whenever he as much as glances in their direction. He needs to distract himself, because continuing to think of Beelzebub, of what they had and will never have again, will do nothing but slowly poison his spirit.

But it’s not enough. And he fears acceptance will never come.

* * *

“I’m sorry, I must have heard you wrong sister dearest,” Gabriel says, smile sharp as a knife. Michael keeps her expression mostly impassive, although there’s a flash of something akin to guilt shining in her eyes, but gone so quickly that Gabriel wonders if he imagined it. “I thought I heard you say you want me to go meet Lord Beelzebub?”

“You heard me right,” Michael replies, tone betraying nothing. “There’s been a few… incidents in the last few weeks that need to be dealt with and while I attempted to handle them… well, let’s just say the other Princes of Hell aren’t as cooperative.”

“Then try to talk to Beelzebub yourself,” he says, with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I was under the impression that you had got somewhat cozzy with one another?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Michael protests sharply. “I don’t-- we don’t-- we struck a deal of sorts.” She pursues her lips unhappily, arms crossed over her chest. “It did not work as I intended.”

“And how did you intend for it to work, sister dearest?” Gabriel asks, leaning back on his seat, arms crossed over his chest.

Michael huffs. “It’s no matter,” she answers briskly. “And in any case, the handling of inter departmental relationships is your job Gabriel, not mine.”

That much is true, but Gabriel is not about to let her win this argument. “True, but then you’ve been known to take matters into your own hands, behind my back may I add, whenever you felt like it.” Michael opens her mouth to argue and he hurries to continue. “I’m not the one with a small army of hellish informants.”

“It’s not the same,” she settles for answering, after starting to reply several times. “This is official business, Gabriel. And Beelzebub-- well, I have it on good source that they’re in a bit of a mood, so they’re unlikely to cooperate with me or any other angel for that matter.”

Well, that’s curious. “And why, pray tell, do you think they’ll cooperate with me?”

“You two have history,” Michael replies and Gabriel wonders if she knows how true that is. “If nothing else, they respect you. They’ll talk to you.”

Oh, if only she knew how unlikely that actually is. “Fine,” he says, deciding that continue to protest will only make Michael suspicious. “I’ll schedule a meeting.” Although he’s not entirely convinced Beelzebub will agree. They certainly haven’t been picking up his calls, but maybe if he says it’s official business--

He’s not entirely sure he actually wants to meet them, mind.

But it seems he has no other choice.

* * *

Beelzebub looks fine, completely unaffected by the end of their relationship.

Gabriel isn’t sure why it comes as a surprise, but it does for some reason. After all, the demon was the one who ended their relationship, so it’s perfectly natural they’re unaffected by the break up. What did he expect, honestly? To find the demon Prince as heartbroken as himself?

No, of course not.

The demon barely spares a glance in his direction as he takes a seat in front of them. They look pretty much the same, except for the dark lenses covering their eyes. Briefly, Gabriel wonders at the new fashion choice but decides not to comment on it.

It’s none of his business, he supposes.

“Shall we begin?” he asks, placing the papers he’s carrying with him on top of the table and Beelzebub nods distractedly, signaling for the waiter to bring them another drink.

Gabriel holds back a sigh.

It’s going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

The small café he’s chosen for their meeting is a far cry from their usual meeting places, but Gabriel figured they (mostly he, to be fair) could do with something that didn’t remind him of the past. He quickly realizes it makes no difference however: the demon sitting in front of him is reminder enough of what he’s lost.

Beelzebub pushes a rebel lock of hair back and Gabriel is sharply reminded of the delicious sounds they made when he used to pull their hair. Beelzebub tilts their head to the side, considering, but also bearing their neck and Gabriel recalls all the little marks he used to leave there. Beelzebub bites their lips, thinking about something and Gabriel thinks of all the times he bit their lips too.

It’s simply ridiculous, really.

“Stop it,” Beelzebub says after a while, glaring at him or so the Archangel assumes: with the glasses, it’s a little hard to tell.

“Stop what?” Gabriel asks, aiming to sound like he truly doesn’t know what they mean, but missing the mark entirely.

Beelzebub sighs, pinching the bridge of their nose. “I knew this was a bad idea,” they say, putting the papers they were reading down. “You said this was a business meeting.”

“It is,” he argues, because it is. Even if he’s distracted by other things, the fact remains that they’re just here to talk business. Although-- “Why did you lie to me?” he asks, because that’s the core of the matter, isn’t it? Maybe if he had the answer to that question--

“What?” Beelzebub asks, frowning. “It’s been a long while since I purposely lied to you, feather brain.”

Gabriel growls, annoyed. “Yeah, sure. So when you told me you loved me too, you weren’t lying?”

Beelzebub stares at him for a beat, expression caught between surprise and panic. “I never claimed such thing,” they reply finally, dropping their eyes to the abandoned papers.

Gabriel scoffs. “Well, you implied it,” he argues, growing more annoyed by the minute. “I told you it was fine if you didn’t. If you just wanted sex--”

“Gabriel,” they interrupt sharply. “Is this really the place to be discussing such things?”

“Well, it’s not like we’re ever going to meet elsewhere, so--”

“Fuck, you’re impossible,” Beelzebub declares, annoyance radiating from their small form. “I know you’re a little self absorbed, but can’t you see this isn’t easy for me? But we must pretend nothing is amiss, otherwise all  _ this _ will be for nothing.” They gesture helplessly at their surroundings, expression bitter.

“This?” he questions after a beat and Beelzebub groans, taking off their glasses in one swift movement.

“This,” they reply angrily and now Gabriel can see why they’d cover their eyes. It’s not a fashion choice, not at all, but a desperate effort to hide the red rimmed eyes and the dark bags underneath.

“Oh,” he murmurs, something inside him twisting painfully. And he thought he had it bad-- “Beelz, please.”

“Stop,” they order, putting the lenses back on. “Focus on the work.”

“Fuck that,” the Archangel replies sharply, reaching for them and Beelzebub turns to look at him with a surprised expression. They seem mildly amused at his impromptu curse, but he figures it won’t do to linger on that. “Beelz, if you feel the same way, I don’t understand--”

“Don’t you, really?” the demon demands, but their tone is sad and defeated and they don’t try to pull away, which Gabriel counts as a win. “We must not lost our co workers trust, Gabriel. It’d spell nothing but damnation for both of us.”

That much is true, but-- “Well, it’s not like we had ever advertised our… whatever. As far as Heaven and Hell are concerned, our meetings have always been on professional grounds.”

“And for how long do you think we’d manage to hide the true nature of our meetings?” Beelzebub argues, but there’s no fire in their tone. “You must be aware the truth always comes to light.”

“Even if that was the case, I don’t care--”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Beelzebub interrupts. “You have no idea what you’re speaking about, Gabriel. Don’t you dare to tell me you don’t care about the consequences.” They shake their head, desperate and frustrated. “Do not believe I made a hasty decision. I thought about this plenty and it’s simply not worth it.”

“Isn’t it?” he tries to argue, squeezing their wrist gently. 

Beelzebub looks away, but doesn’t answer. They stay like that for a long while, Gabriel desperately thinking of a way to convince his companion they can make it work.

But then, he thinks, Beelzebub had already made their decision.

And he does know how stubborn they can be.

“Fine,” he concedes defeat finally, letting go of the demon’s arm. “Just business from now on, then.”

“It’s for the best,” Beelzebub replies, although who are they’re trying to convince is hard to tell.

In any case, Gabriel doubts either is very convinced.

* * *

Acceptance comes at long last. He goes back to his usual work, his temperament back under control, keeping a congenial smile on his lips at all times, keeping his calm even when he feels like screaming. Michael watches him for a long while, no doubt expecting a slip, but he’s careful about it.

After all, as Beelzebub said, it wouldn’t do for all their heartbreak to be for nothing. As much as he hates it, he must admit it’s vital that he recovers Michael’s trust.

So he works and works and things go back to normal, slowly. He does continue to meet Beelzebub and while it’s painful at first, almost to the point of it being unbearable, he manages. He’s very careful about keeping some distance between them at all moments and he tries to avoid any subjects that are not directly related to work.

So yes, acceptance has come at long last.

But it brings him no peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thoughts anyone?  
> I intended for it to end on a slightly more positive note but well… as usual, the plot ran away from me :P  
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> So, thoughts anyone?  
> This particular installment is a three piece set, running from Beelzebub, Michael and Gabriel’s POV respectively so even if things look a little gloom right now, we don’t have the full story just yet.


End file.
